long live the fighting hokies

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.
-Russell Baker

This weekend I made a disparaging comment to dogooderlawyer about the New York Knickerbockers, something insightful and pithy, to the effect that, "The Knicks suck." I wasn't actually trying to get a rise out of him; I have felt this way--not that the Knicks are a poor team, but just that I don't like them--since the glorious NBA Finals of 1994, in which Houston beat New York in seven games. None of the experts thought the Rockets would win, and maybe they shouldn't have, but they did. I was 15 years old, and on June 22, 1994, the Rockets won for the city its first professional championship ever. (You'll have to excuse me, I'm getting a little choked up over here. "Never underestimate the heart of a champion!" Okay, I'm done.)

But I digress: after my remark, dogooderlawyer got his Joey Tribbiani on. It reminded me of the Friends episode "The One With All the Haste," in which Monica and Rachel attempt to get their apartment back from Chandler and Joey by bribing them with Knicks season tickets. Joey is sold, but he has to convince Chandler.

JOEY: It's the Knicks!
CHANDLER: Screw the Knicks!
JOEY: Whoa!
CHANDLER: I didn't mean that. I just meant that the apartment is worth so much more.
JOEY: Huh.
CHANDLER: And the Knicks rule all.
JOEY: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!

My story doesn't end quite so harmoniously. In fact, when I refused to play Chandler, dogooderlawyer declared that he was going to stop cheering for one of my teams. After some hemming and hawing ("I really do like the Astros and the Rockets--they're good guys.") he decided that Texas was no longer deserving of his love. Thenceforth, he stated, Virgina Tech would be his college football team.

Now, I am no stranger to the strange phenomenon that is Hokie football. One of my former colleagues is a Tech alum. Before I even met her I was given a tour of her apartment: I walked over a VT welcome mat (beside which were hand-decorated VT shoes with Chicago maroon and burnt orange laces) and next to a VT director's chair, past a refrigerator dotted with VT magnets (adjacent to a sink of Hokie mugs), and by a closet full of anti-UVA shirts (on the door of which hung keys on a VT lanyard). I could go on, but you get the idea. "One guess where she went to school," quipped meggiefreshh.

All evidence to the contrary, my dear friend vthokie is actually a fairly normal person. And I've always been able to enjoy her unhealthy obsession. Last year, in fact, I watched and cheered for Virginia Tech with her when they played Georgia Tech. Of course, last year the Hokies (despite winning the ACC championship their first year in that conference) were not a direct threat to my Longhorns. This year, however, Virgina Tech joined my University of Texas, the University of Southern California, and the University of Alabama as an undeafeated NCAA Division I team. In the BCS standings, USC was ranked first, then Texas, then Tech, and finally, Alabama.

Until Saturday. Until dogooderlawyer switched his allegiance.

That evening, Virginia Tech suffered its first loss of the season, falling to Miami 27-7. Some might accuse me of the post hoc, ergo propter hoc fallacy (given fame in one of my most favorite West Wing episodes!), but I still say,

"Can you decide to root for USC next?"