truthiness on television

Put some pants on, America. The Truth is knocking at the door.

After I spent a good part of my wonderful Friday with 6'1" a few weeks ago quoting it in between breakfast, trips to museums, lunch, a walking tour of Kalorama, and good beers, I realized that I am officially addicted to The Colbert Report. I blame dogooderlawyer, who would make me stop whatever I was doing (including sleeping) to watch The Daily Show at 11:00 pm. At first, it was simple inertia that caused us to watch this former Daily Show correspondent's parody of a personality-driven news program that follows Jon Stewart's more well-known parody of an evening newscast. But I have actually come to like the spinoff more than the original. I know, I know, The Daily Show is the must-watch among 18- to 35-year-old blue staters. But frankly, The Colbert Report is funnier. Period. End of story.

Well, not quite. Maybe it's because Colbert is humor more articulated. (Stewart often lets news clips speak for themselves and just adds a facial expression.) Anyway, here is my list wherefore j'adore Colbert. (I chose the number intentionally: ten is sooo tired, while "seven" has more alliterative value.)

Sopheathene's Seven Reasons to Love Stephen
7. Inverting the television host-guest relationship, Colbert has his visitors seated when he announces them, and they remain so afterwards while he runs out in front of the audience and basks in their applause. He's even been known to high five and/or shake hands with members of the audience before sitting down to conduct the interview.

6. Colbert puts people, places, institutions, etc. that he disapproves of "on notice." Formally, with a "notice board," and a finger wag. Anything on the notice board can come off the notice board by changing behavior or, as is more likely, by being replaced by something more offensive (the board has limited slots).

5. The "t" in "Colbert" is silent. So is the one in "Report."

4. During the few second promo that The Daily Show affords Colbert, the guy makes Jon Stewart laugh. And not just occasionally. Every. Single. Time. It's as if he just isn't quite sure what to make of Colbert.

3. The weekly segment "Better Know a District," in which Colbert reports on and interviews the House representative from a different congressional district, has been changed from a 435-part series to a 434-part series. Permanently. Why? After the Duke Cunningham scandal, Colbert declared California's 50th "dead to me." Also, (you can count this as reason 3a), in his interview with Major Owens, the African-American from New York's 11th in Brooklyn, Colbert somehow walked him into advocating a return to slavery. Brilliant.

2. The fragrance, "Stephen Colbert's Scorn," available in the "You're Off Notice" giftbasket.

1. "The WØrd." A five- to seven-minute long monologue in which Colbert expounds upon (and digresses from but manages to return to) a particular topic. In one show last month--in honor of the Miss America pageant--it was "double stick tape." He connected it to the current political situation and everything.

Watch The Colbert Report Monday through Thursday nights at 11:30 pm CST on Comedy Central!