pro Us Weekly oratio

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted.
-John Lennon

I was a Plan II and Classics major at the University of Texas at Austin. I love learning languages. I read, voraciously, many different kinds of books. I've been compared to Jed Bartlet, with my "encyclopaedic knowledge of the ridiculous and dork-like." I say all of this not to brag but to preface my confession:

I love Us Weekly, the celebrity-idolizing, luxury-lifestyle-pushing, paparazzi-picture-filled gossip rag. I have a subscription, I look forward to each issue, and I read it thoroughly--every word on every page--each week.


Some have questioned whether this habit befits a person of my intellect and gravitas, so I have decided to write a defense of my interest in the publication. And I ask my readers to weigh in. This is my challenge to myself: if I cannot convince myself, and you, that I should read this magazine, then I pledge that I will--no matter the sadness and diffculty--cancel my subscription and never read it again. I am such a huge fan of logical reasoning that after I read Plato's Crito in a college philosophy course, I didn't drink alcohol again until I turned 21, so swayed was I by Socrates's arguments about the social contract. (I am not the only person conflicted around this addictive glossy: check out a fellow blogger's post from August 14 of last year.)


To begin, I read Us as a way to decompress. I don't claim that it is good journalism or a valuable use of time, but since I don't own a television, I submit that reading--even reading trash--for an hour or two each week is a better use of brain cells than the many hours some of my friends spend planning their lives around and passively absorbing several TV shows during that same week. Plus, even the most careful perusal of the magazine only takes about an hour, and I imagine that we all spend at least that much in our own individual guilty pleasures.

To me, the most interesting part of the magazine is the clothes, shoes, and accessories that are identified by designer label and analyzed. Fashion is certainly an art, and I certainly enjoy looking at beautiful things, without the concomitant desire to possess so often created by these types of publications. In other words, I can appreciate a $500 pair of Manolos without laboring under the illusion that I ought, in any plane on this earth, to buy said strappy sandals. I also consider my interest in this area an indulgence of my oft-supressed feminine side, which I think we can all agree needs the occasional airing.


I performed a quick analysis of the ads in the latest issue, "Holiday Diet Tricks" (Issue 563, November 28, 2005), with the idea that the results might shed some light on the magazine's target audience. I was surprised to discover the relative balance: of the twenty-six full-, half-, or quarter-page ads, 5 hawked clothes; 5, food; 4, makeup; 4, television/film; 2, books; and 2, electronics. (The other four were miscellaneous: automobile, birth control, VISA, and US Postal Service.) I had expected, given the hype, that the ads would definitively skew towards the more superficial sectors of apparel and cosmetics, but clearly advertisers have a different idea about the typical Us reader.

The magazine has become a huge pop culture phenomenon. Recently it was one of only ten magazines selected to Advertising Age's 2005 Magazine A-List, the coveted annual ranking of the publishing industry's top titles based on circulation, ad pages, editorial excellence, and buzz in the buying community; Us came in at number three. The year before, it won the same group's Magazine of the Year award, while its editor, Janice Min, took home Adweek Magazine's Editor of the Year honor. Celebrities themselves consume it, and talk show hosts ask their guests about it. And although I am not usually among their ranks, there are those who argue that knowledge of pop culture is important, and that it is a valid field of study.


I also have to commend Us for its honesty, in the sense that it doesn't lay claim to literary pretensions. (People, I'm looking at you!) It is, unabashedly, a purveyor of a luxury lifestyle that most of Us (hee!) will never experience. Unlike People, it doesn't deign to explore the lives of lesser mortals (i.e., no heartstrings-pulling stories about the lady who adopts three-legged dogs). As Gawker trenchantly articluates, "[J]ust like sisters in a sorority, a pecking order has emerged amongst the sychophantic weeklies" (with apologies to dgl for the use of the b-word):

Us Weekly: The Classy Bitch
Star: The Trashy Bitch
People: The Wannabe But Too Cool To Be A Bitch
In Touch: The Bitch In Heat

So, this is my case, and I invite comment upon it. I ask only that dissenters employ reasoned argument and not give into base prejudice. (Indeed, the knee-jerk reaction that Us generally engenders reminds me very much of the typical dimissive attitude towards Buffy, which I cannot brook.) Quite a lot is on the line here--what do you think?

Houston Chronicle's profile of Janice Min

Columbia College's alumni magazine sketch of Min

Gawker's gossip about Us

Jossip's take on Us